Acceptance

Consider a burning question: what is chronic, inflamed, or repetitive in your life? It is easy to think on the surface, but sometimes you really need to dig deep and be alright with not only being in touch with your feelings but expressing them. It can be difficult and emotional, but it is healthy. I am going to take the difficult route and express what is eating at me - something I have kept inside for a while but finally feel necessary to start being comfortable with.

Since freshman year in high school (over seven years ago now), I have never not been in a relationship for an extended period of time. I have never taken the time to focus on myself but instead always focusing on another. This summer, through the McNair Scholars Program, I have been focusing on my future - graduate schools, preparing for the GRE, gaining research experience, forming new friendships, and networking. I have to admit I am very career focused -  I know where I want to be in ten years or at least the general direction that is researching for NASA or military with abnormal environments and the effects on the human body. The journey ahead is not easy, but it starts now - preparation is key.

Along with future focus through McNair, I took a summer class entitled "The Social Construction of Oppression in the United States." All the information in the class made me so emotional - angry, sad, confused, and happy! The amount people have suffered in a supposedly free country is wrong and unnecessary. People have made progress in the battle for rights, but the road ahead is long. Taking part in the class made me feel empowered because I have the opportunity to make an impact and influence change in society. The class ended naming four emotions that heal: honesty, respect, humility, and co-responsibility. With these, society can change and all individuals can have the same rights.

So, where is this post heading? I recently broke up with my girlfriend that was a tough decision to make but something I had to do for myself. Among a few other reasons, there was one specific that stood out. I needed time to step back and focus on myself, specifically being comfortable with my identity. I have brushed something under the rug for a few years but recently felt empowered to talk about. I identify myself as bisexual. Something I have kept secret for a long time, I finally feel the need to focus on loving who I am. It is unfair that people have to be afraid to be themselves because people in society are not accepting. That is what is enflamed in my life, but through sharing, something I can embrace and accept as part of who I am.