When The Hard Work Is Done

Hard to believe a little over a year ago I was accepted into the McNair Scholars Program, and I set my eyes on graduate school. I had no idea the amount of work in store for me, and more importantly, I did not anticipate the friendships and memories I would make along the way. What is the main point of the program? It is designed to help first generation, low income, and underrepresented students develop the tools and their potential to succeed in obtaining a doctoral degree. I knew this going in, and I was ready to "full court press" and get into graduate school.

At this point, I have done everything I could to get into graduate school. Still a little unsure of which program I will select (Master's in Health Promotion or Doctoral in Exercise Physiology/Space Life), I am confident that I will have the privilege to select my school when decisions are made. Getting to this point was not a walk in the park - I began to work hard right from the beginning knowing that the McNair Scholars Program was going to provide the assistance along the way. I jumped at any opportunity to build my resume and develop connections with faculty. Because of the hard work and persistence I put in, I am in a good position.

The purpose of this post is not just about my journey, but it is advice for current and future scholars and anyone who has goals they want to achieve. When hard work is put in, the rewards can be great.

During the spring, before the intensive summer research institute began, my cohort was working on developing our research proposals. However, I was already thinking further ahead on networking with faculty. Knowing who I wanted to work with at Texas A&M University, I set up contacts and visited the university as well as the neighboring Johnson Space Center over spring break. This opportunity gave me the chance to put a face to my name, learn more about the program, and know if A&M was the right fit for me. You can look at a website for countless hours, but you cannot get the feel of the university until you actually visit. Sadly, I was not able to meet with Dr. Bloomfield, my number one choice for my mentor, but I did not get discouraged.

Here is where the benefits of networking come in! I made a connection with Dr. Smith at the Space Center, and he personally emailed Dr. Bloomfield to tell her to contact me. Over the early summer, we had a phone interview and made our first connection. At the same time, I was putting lots of hours into my summer research and preparing to take the GRE. When summer ended, I found another program I was interested in pursuing in health promotion and built my resume and connections with faculty. To further my credentials, I began a teacher training to become a certified yoga teacher which will be completed at the end of February. When my applications were being completed, I reached out to Dr. Bloomfield again, and having already made an initial contact, she asked to have a Skype interview. The interview was successful and at the end, I was given conditional acceptance and will know the final answer on January 10.

So, this is where I stand now. I have done everything possible to build my credentials and network with faculty. I would not be here without the hard work put in, and although at times I doubted myself, I did not give up when times were rough. I have a decision ahead of me to make, but I know what my gut is telling me - I am just not ready to reveal it yet! Although this post was about my journey in the McNair Scholars Program, it is a testament for reaching any goals that we set for ourselves. Things will not just happen without putting forth the effort.

Visualize Results, Not Possibilities

Dreams. They get to the heart of what defines us and reveal our deepest desires. If we took some time to examine our dreams, we might be guided in our choices. I often think of my dreams: go to graduate school, get a good paying job, get married, have kids, and live in a nice home. Are my dreams really what I want though, or are they mindless pursuits? I never considered this before and decided to take some time to really envision my direction. What good is reaching a goal if it was never part of what your soul really desired?

I escaped to my home in northern Michigan this weekend because I reached an ultimate peak of freakout! With exams, finishing my research paper, and starting the graduate school application process, I was experiencing burnout. I needed time to get away and reflect - being home is the best place for that. I took some time to feel my inner desires and know that I was heading in the right direction by dreaming.

How you get so fly?...

from not being afraid to fall out the sky.

-Jay-Z, "Beach Chair"

I love this quote! By taking chances and not being afraid to dream, we can unlock the deepest musings of our soul. We need to visualize results, not possibilities. Think of possibilities as foreplay - how would you like it if you never got further than that? We need to visualize the end results! And maybe when we do that, we will realize some of our dreams don't feel right, and that is okay. Actually, that is better than okay. That allows us to shift our direction towards what we really want to get out of our journey. 

Once we know our dreams, we need to share them! We often keep them to ourselves, but through sharing them, they will become more real and attainable. I challenge you to ask someone what their big dream is this week. Read on so I can share mine with you.

What are my dreams?

My dream is to operate a business empire to shift our idea of healthcare from treatment based to preventative based by stressing fitness and nutrition.

     ...I want this dream because I want healthy lifestyles easily accessible for people.

My dream is to have a relationship based on love and friendship with my soul mate somewhere out there.

     ...I want this dream because I deserve to find my soul mate.

My dream is to have my own or adopt kids.

     ...I want this dream because I want to have that connection parents have and impact a child's life.

My dream is to travel the world and see different cultures through my own eyes instead of through reading or television.

     ...I want this dream because I believe there is so much to be learned from people who are different from you.

My dream is to fight for equality and fairness, break down stereotypes, and make changes for those who are oppressed.

     ...I want this dream because I know what it is like to belong to a marginalized group and I want to see it changed.

The Past - Not So Relevant

Well, I was going to make my first video post this weekend, but then I got sick, so that wasn't going to be happening. Stay tuned next week for my first video!

Let me introduce myself:

I'm Andrew. and I am a student at Central Michigan University finishing my major in Neuroscience and applying to Master's of Public Health programs. I am geared towards helping people redefine success in their lives by starting with the physical body and working our way inside to find inner peace. I am currently developing my professional "feel," and my challenge is targeting my ideal clients. If you are ready to feel more alive and get rid of unnecessary clutter that is holding you back, let's talk further!

My cocktail line.
My "brand."
My current career challenge.

Not talking about my past.

Let me repeat that - not talking about my past. How often do we get caught up in things that happened yesterday, last month, last year, or even further back? We need to look towards the future and live in the present. The past is only going to bog us down and hold us back from our true potential. However, in order to let the past go, we need to analyze it, so we can understand its hold on us. Then, how about we say goodbye?

Remember, the past is not as relevant as we make it seem. 

What are my three biggest screwups?

1. When I first got to Central Michigan University, I was set on what I wanted to do and signed my neuroscience major without a question in my mind. I never took time to explore what truly made my passion burn and wish I had held off. Going into health fitness/nutrition, I could be taking classes that got me interested.
2. Silence. By silence, I mean not taking a stand for fairness and equal rights. As a part of several marginalized groups, I wish I had not stayed silent for so long. Now, I am becoming more active to help voices be heard and stop oppression.
3. Lacking expression. For too long, I have always felt like I needed to fit into the "normal" group. Screw that! Now, I am open with myself and learning to become more of an individual and let my personal light shine.

What did I learn?

1. I learned that it is okay to change my mind, and most importantly, my major gives me an edge on other applicants because I bring something unique to the table. I like being different.
2. I learned that is never too late to start making a difference, and I have time to make up for all the years that I was quiet.
3. Who cares what other people think? I am who I am, and I love who I am. If others do not, then they are missing out on what I have to offer. 

Can I see a pattern in the lessons I learned?

I think the underlying issue is lack of confidence. With confidence comes the ability to take control, make an impact, and do it while being fabulously expressive!

How did what I learned change the way I approach things?

I approach things with more confidence and a desire for change! I see when other people are facing similar struggles, and I am apt to help them. Its what I want to do with my life. 

Funny, I thought the past was holding me back because that's the perspective I had. However, it shaped me. I am stronger now because of it, and as of today, I am saying goodbye. I hope you can do the same.

Easy Truth

The Burning Questions

The important thing is to never stop questioning.

     One question can begin a chain of questions that can open our hearts and minds to things we may not have noticed before. Session 4 of The Fire Starter Sessions is all about asking the burning questions, and most importantly, being honest with our answers. 

1) When someone at a party asks me what I do, what do I say? And how do I feel when I say it?

     This question can be unsettling to some because we feel like we need to qualify ourselves - we may feel that we underachieving and not where we thought we would be in life. However, we need to own it, take charge, and be real! Forgot about trying to be impressive and be true to yourself. Be interested in your life and people will see that interest in you. Can't we all try to be more genuine?

     When someone asks me what I do, I say that I am a student at Central Michigan University. Right now I am going through the motions finishing my major in Neuroscience, but my passion is health and wellness coaching and helping people redefine success. I am a yogi and a starting beater on the Quidditch Club of Central Michigan. I feel "on fire" when I say this.

2) What do people thank me for most often? What do they come to me for, or say about me, most frequently ("positive" or "negative")?

     People most often thank me for advice and being a positive influence. People look to me for encouragement and know that I will support them when others will not.

3) When do I feel powerful, passionate, free, incredibly useful, excited, inspired?

     When I am playing Quidditch or on the sidelines giving advice and coaching - I feel all of these when I am having my voice heard and can share my talents. Whenever I am practicing yoga or exercising, when I am giving advice, and taking risks, I feel I am in the zone.

4) What do I think my form of genius is? What am I amazing at (work or life related)?

     Coaching, being a good role model, a brother, a friend, and inspiring others to take action.

5) Who do I think is really cool or elegant or powerful?

     We admire people who share our aspirations. I admire Jillian Michaels (her no excuse attitude), Tara Stiles (started a yoga studio in New York City), Danielle Laporte (life coach), and Mastin Kipp (up and coming life coach).

6) What's chronic, repetitive, or inflame in your inner or outer life?

     Not believing I am allowed to follow my own path and constantly comparing myself.

7) What's always in the back of my mind?

     Quidditch - it is not just my love for the sport but the team dynamics and chance to help teammates improve.

8) What would I like to stop doing?

     I want to stop worrying so much, and I want to stop being self-conscious. I want to stop looking for approval and be confident on my own.

9) How much money would I like to be making?

     I would like to make $100k a year to start out.

10) How would I like to be seen, recognized, acknowledged, awarded, praised?

     I don't need big romantic gestures (although, I wouldn't mind), but I just want to feel more needed. 

11) So...what would I like to do with my life and career? Money is no object. Dream.

     I want to travel the world helping people live more holistically through fitness and eating better. I want to have a yoga studio in New York City or on the east coast. I want to share my life with someone. I want to be recognized.

Integrating Body, Mind, and Soul

     Yoga has changed my life, and I continue to deepen my practice every week. I believe in the science of yoga, and I am thankful I can explore this path. 

Recreating the Definition of Success

How do you want to feel?

Let that sink in for a minute or two.

     I am completing session 3 of The Fire Starter Sessions, and that is the key point of this passage. Society has everything backwards; we always have our minds set on goals - getting good grades, achieving my degree, a beautiful home, and someone by my side for life - and have tunnel vision until we reach those goals. However, here is a revolutionary idea: let's decide how we want to feel inside and then produce a goals list to help us achieve those desired feelings. What good is reaching our goals if we get there only to be disappointed because we don't feel happiness. Some of our targets may not give us the satisfaction we first thought they would. 

     Something important to note - desired feelings don't have to be "out there." They can be simple. What is important is that they are true to ourselves. So, we need to get clear on how we want to feel, and then, do whatever is necessary to feel that way. When that happens, we create magnetism with our feelings. When we feel how we desire, it will come easier and attract more of that feeling. Isn't that a great thought? Its okay to want to feel a certain way. We need to take hold of ourselves and stop feeling guilty for desiring to feel a specific way. Then, our focus will be on how circumstances make us feel instead of how they initially appear. 

Feelings first! :)

Stay focused!

Feel good!

Better results!

Simple, right?

How do I want to feel in my life?

• Comfort
• Confident
• Risk-taker
• Passion
• Confrontational
• Expressive
• Present
• True
• Loved
• Approachable
• Important
• Noticed
• Energized
• "On fire"
• Peace

Of these core desired feelings, which five really turn me on?

1. "On fire"
2. Present
3. Expressive
4. Confident
5. Risk-taker

What does "on fire" feel like? Burning passion!

What does present feel like? In the moment!

What does expressive feel like? Confidence expressing my thoughts and feelings!

What does confident feel like? Standing tall!

What does risk-taker feel like? Taking chances - adventurous!

Five things I will do to generate these feelings:

1. Continue to work with Lynn on building my personal philosophy.
2. Deepen my practice of yoga.
3. Finally, talk to my parents about who I am dating.
4. Participate in class discussions.
5. Something adventurous - I'll know when the moment arrives.

Three people to help me feel this way:

1. Lynn - my life coach, "business partner," and friend
2. Amanda - one of my best friends
3. Brian - he allows me to learn more about myself that I've hidden for so long

So, I ask again, how do you want to feel??

Quality of Easy

Easy. We all wish life could just be easier sometimes, and the truth is, it can be! I'm not talking about taking shortcuts or being lazy, but I'm talking about walking away from things that aren't doing anything for you. We need to be okay with saying, "No." I recently had my own development and I said no to graduate school. The life of a researcher is not for me, and this was a daunting task for me. I was all set and had everything lined up to get my doctoral degree. What good though would a Ph.D. be if I felt stifled everyday working away in a lab. Instead, I chose easy in the sense of doing what I am passionate about. It is the first step.

When you choose easy, you choose something that is going to produce the greatest results because with pleasure comes the desire to expand horizons - there is no limit to what you can do when you have a burning passion! I want to become a health and wellness/life coach, and when I finally put my finger on it, I knew it was right. I felt enthusiasm unlike anything before! It was a wonderful feeling that I knew was the beginning of something incredible. I feel so giddy over everything along with a sense of empowerment. Amazing!

I am currently finishing session 2 of the Fire Starter Sessions, and here are my thoughts on a few probing questions.

What actually needs to get done in my life and livelihood?

1) I need to do well in my classes and keep working towards finishing my bachelor's degree. 

2) I need to finish my summer research project. 

3) I want to start developing my own personal style of coaching and start to network with people who can help me develop my strengths.

4) I need to workout, get good sleep, and continue to eat right. 

5) I need to spend time with people close to me. 

6) I need to be active with Quidditch. 

What's my competency level for each activity?

1) Great - I have always been good at school and without hard science classes this semester, subject matter is easier.

2) Great - I am good at the research process and understanding the project I am working on.

3) Novice - I don't know much yet.

4) Brilliant - eat, sleep, and move! It is a mantra I now live by :)

5) Brilliant - I love having deep conversations with those close to me and hanging out.

6) Brilliant - Quidditch is more important than academics to me at times and when I am playing, I am a awesome asset to the team!

Which of these activities actually makes me feel strengthened?

Developing my personal coaching style, networking, working out, getting good sleep, eating right, spending time with people close to me, and Quidditch!

Which of these activities doesn't really light my fire?

Finishing my neuroscience major and finishing my summer research project!

What can I do to develop my strengths and interests?

First, I want to start developing an online presence through developing a professional blog. Second, I want to start seeking out inspiring individuals and see the path they have trod. Third, I want to continue with my yoga practice and potentially look at taking a teacher training course to begin a foundation.

What three actions will I take this week to condition and nourish my true strengths?

Number one: I have my first meeting with Lynn to start developing my professional blog.

Number two: I am going to talk with yoga instructors and learn more about teacher training.

Number three: I am going to research educational programs I can go into following undergrad.

What three actions will I take this week to decrease my time spent on activities that drag me down and don't feed my true strengths?

Number one: I am going to work hard and finish a majority of my research paper, so I can put the whole thing behind me.

Number two: I have to continue with my classes, but I will try to be more efficient.

Number three: Try out some new time management strategies.

Cashing In On My Superpowers

"Just because you can, doesn't mean you should."

-Danielle Laporte

Creating success on my own terms starts with declaring my superpowers - cashing in on what comes naturally to me! I want to make money in a career where making money seems silly because I love it so much. I don't want to be well rounded - I want to shine in what make me truly happy, what sparks my inner passion fire and keeps it burning bright. I am competent in countless subjects and activities, but just because I am good at something, does not mean that I should make a career out of it. 

I want to ignite a burning passion in others as I have experienced myself!

Who am I trying to impress? 

     I am always trying to impress people close to me because I want them to be proud of my accomplishments. I am starting to feel though that if they are not impressed with what I make out of my life, it does not matter. Its my life anyways - they are not living it!

What do I have to force myself to do?

     Finishing my neuroscience major - two semesters to go. It is not the subject for me.

What would I like to never, ever do again?

     Close myself off from the world - I want to shine with who I truly am! This might be harsh, but I also don't want to be stuck in research lab for the rest of my life - no matter how interesting the research, I want to have more personal contact with people and use my knowledge and experiences to better their lives.

I am ready for my passion to move me in the direction of my true self. You know, I feel amazing when I can help people improve their lives, specifically with life goals, encouragement, finding strengths, fitness and nutrition. I feel so alive when I am working out because being active heightens my vitality - it helps everything else fall in place. I am best at helping individuals. My fire is lit when I am in the right mind set - when I am playing Quidditch, practicing yoga, eating good, and focusing on how to help others with how I have been influenced. I want to feel open - vulnerable even - in order to really learn. And with this learning, I want to be able to coach others. 

Can I remember who I was, before the world told me who I should be? I think I am slowly coming back to my roots - I was always told to use my skills in the sciences and be a doctor. Sure, I was good at it, but I did not love it. I have always gone after things that people in my life say I am good at, but I want to go after the thing that not only I am good at, but that I love! I think I have found it now in my true strengths :)

What am I intensely interested in (and moderately)?

      

     Epiphany moments - when somebody realizes where their true passion lies. Fitness - how to use it to improve well-being. Nutrition - eating right can make you feel more alive and present in life. Relating to people - it is one of personal strengths. Space - so many mysteries to discover and research. Strengths - I want to move away from the mindset of trying to fix weaknesses and playing to strengths! 

I go to the best cocktail party ever. It's a life-changing event because you meet the most with-it, interesting, empowered people, and each of them can contribute to your career and interests in some way...Who was there and how did they help me?

     This is a tough question - I cannot name specifics, but I would want to be surrounded by people who are living lives filled with true passion. Hearing their journeys would be encouraging and helpful.

If I could go to five conferences or events this year, which ones would I go to and why?

     I would like to attend a yoga conference where I could dig deeper into my practice - yoga has changed my life, and I want to know how I can use it in the future to help others. I want to go to a nutrition conference to learn how to start bettering myself first. I would like to attend a conference where Danielle Laporte is or people similar to her because she is so empowering and I want to learn how I can harness that energy. I want to go to an LGBTQ event because it would be empowering!! I also would like to go someplace where I could get away and relax.

What could I talk about late into the night with like-minded people without running of things to say?

     Besides Harry Potter, fantasy, Glee, Digimon, etc, I want to take about what makes people tick. What gets you out of bed in the morning, what makes you who you are from your background, relationships, and present self, and what dreams are going to be a reality. I like to talk about progress but also the present and focusing on well-being.

What activities make me feel really useful, alive, and strong?

     When I am helping my friends and family focus on their passion and strengths through fitness (yoga and Quidditch especially) and just sitting down to talk. When people feel comfortable sharing their inner desires, I feel I can help them harness them and it is then that I feel the most alive!

What do I want to be known for?

     I want to be known as someone who held true to their convictions through good and bad times but was willing to take risks and have opportunities for growth. Furthermore, I want to be known as someone who helped others reach their full potential. I want to be known someone who lived life to the fullest every moment and wasn't afraid to speak my mind. I want to be known as someone who was optimistic and a shining light for others because we all are trying to find our meaning of life.

My life purpose is what I say it is. No one can tell me otherwise. What is that exactly? I want to finish my education and enter a career where I can coach people in health and wellness and achieving lives full of passion!

I Love It Here On The Edge of Unfamiliarity

Let's be real for a moment - today my head has been spinning, partly from being hungover but mostly because of all these feelings I have coursing through my body. Focusing today was a bit of a challenge. I've mentioned before, but about a month ago, this super attractive guy asked me out on a date. To say I was nervous is a huge understatement - silly me. After getting to know him better, I don't just feel a physical connection, but there is also a emotional connection there. I feel so comfortable around him and it happened so quickly. I just feel so good with life right now, and it is in huge part to him!

Creating Success

     This is kind of how I feel about life lately - I feel good with the general direction of my life, but I don't really know where I am heading exactly. I am about to start a new project with reading The Fire Starter Sessions by Danielle Laporte. I am hoping to learn more about myself - stay tuned! 

Finding My Personal Path

     I am so fortunate to be surrounded by family and friends that support me and are influential in my life. Everyday I learn something new about myself and what I want in my life. Today, I had the opportunity to have a great chat with Lynn and left with a renewed perspective. What is life without adventure - living on the edge of my comfort zone and escaping the familiar - and taking risks? 

     I have pushed myself more than ever this summer, and I come out feeling so happy with my life! However, this is just the beginning. I want to continue doing daring things and find what makes me feel good. The mantra of Eat, Sleep, Move resonates within me because that is where it starts. I worked out hard this summer, got adequate sleep, and for the most part, took care of my nutrition. Then, I took a few weeks in August where I fell off track, and honestly, I felt awful. My energy levels were depleted - I always felt tired - and my focus was off. In a sense, I closed myself off from living! Once I started regaining control, I felt immediate improvement. 

     I am trying out a new gym this fall called Cross Fit. There was an introductory class I attended this morning, and it pushed me harder then I have in a long while. It is so easy to give up and easy to make excuses not to work out. How often do I hear the excuse that people cannot make time? In reality though, there is time. If you want to improve your life, you will make the time, and excuses will be a thing of the past. You are only hurting yourself with excuses. My perspective has completely changed this summer, and I cannot turn back. The seed that was planted a few weeks ago when I fell off track and felt like shit will continue to grow as I explore.

     I am at a place in my life where my mind is constantly flooded with questions about my future. Hour to hour I can feel different about where my personal path is heading; of course, I want to go to graduate school and obtain a doctoral degree. I am intimidated though and sometimes question if I am going the right way. Applying to graduate school is my most daring adventure right now - I come from a background where even going to college was not talked about. I never even knew what a doctoral degree was until a few years into my education at CMU. I am ready to take the plunge, and if I find down the road I took the wrong path, I can always find a new adventure. Things can be undone, and nothing is set in stone. I am thankful for the encouragement I receive, and I hope that I give the same support to those close to me. 

     Life really is not anything without taking risks, so here is to my adventure of navigating this thing we call life one new experience after another!

The End of Summer "Vacation"

Hard to believe the new school year starts in less than a week - I am still waiting for my break this summer. This summer has been the busiest thus far, and although there was not much vacation time, I am proud of all that I accomplished. I am nervous about being burned out when the semester starts, but it will be a different kind of busy compared to summer. I think now is an appropriate time to reflect and make some affirmations for the future. 

I cannot say enough exceptional things about McNair - it has changed my life thanks to wonderful staff and my cohort. I count all of them among my friends. In particularly, Lynn and Amanda C. have helped me change for the better. Lynn and I have a similarity that our personal strength is being a relator, so I find myself connected to her well. Her go-with-the-flow attitude matches mine, but she helped push me further. Through yoga and focusing on myself, I have made great strides. Amanda has become one of my closest friends. I can always share with her, and she has been there for me through good and bad times this summer. I cannot thank her enough for the impact she has had on me.

Summer has been a rollercoaster ride - my lowest moment was my breakup this summer. Then, there was the stress every now and then of McNair requirements but it did not compare. It took some time and support but I was able to move on because I needed to focus on myself. 

Enough negative - summer has been exceptionally positive! I really got into my yoga practice and now it is a foundation for me. I went kayaking for the first time. I spent time with family camping. I completed my GRE and did well above my goal. I compiled my list of graduate schools: Texas A&M University, University of Houston, and University of Florida. I have nearly finished my research project for the summer. I am a bit intimidated in writing my paper, but I am excited for its completion. I am going to continue research throughout the fall semester for additional analysis and have a stronger paper to submit for publication. One of the most important parts of this summer was being open about being bisexual. I am so comfortable with myself now and have gone on a few dates with a guy which have been awesome! It is so nice to be myself completely.

Once classes start, I want to do well. My goal is to make the Dean's list this semester. I have a personal deadline of October 15 for having all my graduate school materials in. I will be presenting at a national conference in early October! I want to continue working out which will be easy with Quidditch starting up again! I need to stick with getting back on track to better nutrition, and I want to make sure to get adequate sleep so I do not get run down. I am thrilled for the fall semester, but it is hard to believe that senior year is less than a week away. 

Just Writing Down Some Feels

I find my blog to be the best place to express myself - I never thought writing would be the place for me to do so. I find myself at 2 am in the morning needing to write instead of sleeping! I am a quiet person and definitely more of a listener than a talker. I love being around people but I tend to fall back and not be able to compete when others are talking. I just don't have that sort of voice. So, that is one thing I realize about myself, something I am comfortable with though.

I have also been dealing with a lot of stress in my life. I do not often find myself stressed but when I do, I feel it goes to the extreme. Basically, its all or nothing. I am hoping the stress will dissipate soon.

Also, I got asked on a date tonight by a guy for the first time - I was very flattered, and I said yes! I'm not looking for anything serious, but this is something exciting and new to find myself better.

This and That

Hard to believe August is almost here! This summer has been one journey I will never forget. I am nearing completion of my first independent research project on bone mineral, less than three weeks away from taking the GRE test, and have my sights set on three graduate schools: Texas A&M University, University of Houston, and University of Florida. I have grown as a person, finally focusing on my own needs which has made a huge difference. Hard to believe it has only been about three months and so much has happened.

On August 26th, senior year will be upon me! I am going to enjoy every minute of my last year at Central because this has become my new home - it will be hard to leave come May. I cannot wait to be back on the pitch playing Quidditch. Summer is so difficult without the opportunity to play. I will be taking classes in Kinesiology and will continue gaining research experience. Most importantly, I will have new adventures and hang out with my friends who have made my time here at Central worthwhile! 

So, one month left of summer! I will be finishing up my research but I will be taking time to enjoy my last Michigan summer for a while I imagine. Listening to country music, finding my way to a beach, and spending time with friends. I don't want to miss out on this special time.

Getting to Read Someone's Mind

If I could have a superhuman ability, I would want to be able to read the minds of people. I am so curious as to what other people are thinking. I didn't get to read minds, but I did get an opportunity to have a friend answer some questions about myself. Hearing what other people think always gives a new perspective which can be helpful.

1. I think your greatest strength is your calmness and ability to maintain a level head in any situation, no matter how stressful the occasion.
2. Your style of living is halcyon and go with the flow. I see your style of living as very balanced: you are not messy, but not overly compulsive either. You do the things that make you happy and you do not give them up.
3. What should you let go of? I am troubled with this question. Yo are so good at going with the flow and not letting things get to you. I think you have a natural tendency to let go of things when they aren't good for you. But, I think you should let go of any possible remaining feelings of guilt from your breakup with Alyssa.
4. I have never seen you play Quidditch, but I get the feeling that you would be at your best when you are playing the game. I think you are also at your best when you are being a friend and helping someone because you remain calm and strong.
5. I wish you were less of a "nice" guy for your own sake because it pains you to hurt others, even when yo are doing the best thing for yourself. I get the sense that you would rather be unhappy at time than cause someone else pain.
6. I have seen you really shine through your writing. It is natural and doesn't seem like you have to try very hard, but when you write it is great! The way you craft your words and how you express your thoughts has always impressed me.
7. I think you could give yourself more credit for being who you are. I remember you saying that you thought it was your own fault for not finding the right person yet - that there was something wrong with you. It is not your fault and there is nothing wrong with who you are. I believe you need to give yourself more credit for the experiences you have been through and how you have handled them! I am proud of you for coming to terms with who you are and embracing it. You should celebrate your identity - embrace Andrew Derry and shine!

Looking Inside - Getting to Know Myself Better

I have recently taken it upon myself to learn more about myself and be more comfortable, and it just so happened McNair presented an exercise to look further into my own being. Without further ado, I present my all-about-me interview!

1. Something I know to be certain with every cell of my being is I will make an impact in this world - I don't know exactly how yet, but I know it to be true.
2. One thing I used to be believe in was Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, etc was real - this has not changed!
3. I think I know the most about how to relate to other people - finding something in common.
4. I do what I do because I am passionate and it makes me happy. I want to be happy, so why would I choose otherwise?!
5. One word: breakthrough. What comes to my mind is my progress with my summer research.
6. One of the most memorable experiences in my career is playing Quidditch! 
7. One global policy I would like to decree is everyone should have the same basic rights and not be oppressed based on their differences.
8. An experience that tested my strength was recently ending a relationship to focus on myself for once. Extremely difficult, I know it will make me a better person.
9. It's a good day when I go to bed feeling satisfied I did the most I could with my time.
10. The last time I thought, "Yes! That person has so got it going on!?" was when I discovered Dr. Bloomfield at Texas A&M University with her research. I hope I will be as successful.
11. One question in my life that has had the biggest impact on me is, "How do I want to feel?" I need to focus on myself before I can really help others.
12. I am positively addicted to fantasy - it might not be positive at this point because I am so obsessed. 
13. The best advice I was ever given in terms of business was do what makes you happy. It's my life!
14. The most common life advice I give to my friends is do what make you happy. 
15. When I hear the word devotion, I think of passion.
16. I am most interested in trying new things and gaining life experiences.
17. I am incredibly grateful for my family and friends.
18. My form of service to the world is being a good brother, son, friend, etc!

Acceptance

Consider a burning question: what is chronic, inflamed, or repetitive in your life? It is easy to think on the surface, but sometimes you really need to dig deep and be alright with not only being in touch with your feelings but expressing them. It can be difficult and emotional, but it is healthy. I am going to take the difficult route and express what is eating at me - something I have kept inside for a while but finally feel necessary to start being comfortable with.

Since freshman year in high school (over seven years ago now), I have never not been in a relationship for an extended period of time. I have never taken the time to focus on myself but instead always focusing on another. This summer, through the McNair Scholars Program, I have been focusing on my future - graduate schools, preparing for the GRE, gaining research experience, forming new friendships, and networking. I have to admit I am very career focused -  I know where I want to be in ten years or at least the general direction that is researching for NASA or military with abnormal environments and the effects on the human body. The journey ahead is not easy, but it starts now - preparation is key.

Along with future focus through McNair, I took a summer class entitled "The Social Construction of Oppression in the United States." All the information in the class made me so emotional - angry, sad, confused, and happy! The amount people have suffered in a supposedly free country is wrong and unnecessary. People have made progress in the battle for rights, but the road ahead is long. Taking part in the class made me feel empowered because I have the opportunity to make an impact and influence change in society. The class ended naming four emotions that heal: honesty, respect, humility, and co-responsibility. With these, society can change and all individuals can have the same rights.

So, where is this post heading? I recently broke up with my girlfriend that was a tough decision to make but something I had to do for myself. Among a few other reasons, there was one specific that stood out. I needed time to step back and focus on myself, specifically being comfortable with my identity. I have brushed something under the rug for a few years but recently felt empowered to talk about. I identify myself as bisexual. Something I have kept secret for a long time, I finally feel the need to focus on loving who I am. It is unfair that people have to be afraid to be themselves because people in society are not accepting. That is what is enflamed in my life, but through sharing, something I can embrace and accept as part of who I am. 

Why I Am Heading This Direction

Although we end up making our own decisions, we are constantly influenced by people close to us and experiences we have. I am set on graduate school now with the goal of obtaining my doctoral degree in Kinesiology with a Space Life Sciences emphasis. The journey to get to this point took some time, but because of it, I am confident I am on the right path. 

Growing up, I always had a love for space evident by getting my first telescope when I was four. My telescope still stands in my room now so I can get a closer look at the stars from time to time. I never let go of my childhood love - it has only grown. I never thought it would be possible to have a career associated with space though besides being an astronaut.

In the sixth grade, my teacher Mrs. Wilk inspired me to aim high in my goals, and I seriously started considering college at that point. Neither of my parents had gone beyond high school, so I never really thought about it before. I pushed myself to get good grades from that point on and graduated valedictorian seven years later. I had made up my mind that I was going to enter the field of psychiatry - I could combine my interest in the human mind while also my interest in medicine. When I got to CMU, I was still set on psychiatry. I had no idea the other options that were available, and I believe part of the reason the field intrigued me was the pay.

Between my sophomore and junior year, I had my first research experience in a Psychology Clinic. Man, was I in for a shock! Psychology was the last field I wanted to be in. Although the experience was meaningful, it did not hold my interest. It was at this time that I began to fully realize the different options available for me, and I began a period of exploration. I still had my mind set on medical school, but was looking at other areas to specialize. I came across aerospace medicine, and my passion for space was reignited. I saw that I could still pursue a career with an emphasis on space related issues. The following summer after my junior year, I was searching different medical schools for aerospace medicine and stumbled across Texas A&M and their Space Life Sciences Training Program. I did not realize at the time it was my dream come true.

Towards the end of summer, I almost joined the Air Force because I could study aerospace medicine and be close to my dream of going to space. I was at the point of signing the papers following taking all the tests when I decided to take a step back and think about my future. Eventually, I decided graduate school was right for me, and I found myself going back to look at Texas A&M. That fall, I became a McNair Scholar, and I had the opportunity to plan a visit and learn more about the program. Over spring break, I visited A&M and instantly knew I could call it home. The faculty were so welcoming and the program the right fit for me. I developed a proposal studying bone mineralization under hypergravity and found myself reading the literature for pleasure. I love my research this summer and feel a confidence towards my direction. I am holding onto my childhood love of space, but now it has developed into a mature direction. I will be able to study the effects of space on the human body!

My journey of exploration was at times frustrating because I felt I would never know my future, but now I feel a confidence I did not have before. It is surreal that my childhood love of space is still a part of me. I hope that all of you are confident in the direction you are heading and know it is the right fit for you. Don't feel pressured by others to choose a certain field but choose it for yourself.

What Truly Makes Me Happy

I am typically a very happy person - catching me in a bad mood is a rare occasion. I just can't help but be happy - it makes me feel good, and why would I want to feel any other way? There are many things that truly make me happy, some silly while others meaningful. I think at the top of my list are the people who I love and truly care about: my family, my friends, and my girlfriend. Making an impact on society makes me happy, such as conducting research and going on to get my doctoral degree which will provide me with the necessary tools. Then, there is Quidditch! Nothing brings me happiness like Quidditch does - I am in my element when I am on the pitch. Of course, then there is food and exercise - I could not have one without the other. There are many other things, such as warm weather, that bring me happiness, but I would have to write a book to list them all :)

Communication and Time Management

When me and my girlfriend decided to enter into a relationship, we both knew that long distance was in our future but we knew we would be strong enough to handle anything that got in the way. Now, she is currently doing Teach for America in Memphis, Tennessee, and I am still at Central Michigan. When you want something to work though, you make the sacrifices necessary, and we are doing just that. How do we keep the adventure and connection alive? 

We make sure to text each other everyday even though both of our schedules are hectic. Open communication is essential for a healthy relationship. On top of texting, we have set aside Sunday night to make sure we Skype. Time management is critical because you have to make time for each other. I just sent out my first letter to Alyssa this morning - we are committed to sending a handwritten letter every two weeks because who doesn't love getting mail! Starting this week, we are also going to be reading a chapter a week of "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius" to share something through distance and be able to discuss the book with each other. There are so many ways to "be together" even through 750 miles. I miss her everyday, but I know eventually we will be able to be in the same place. When that time comes, we will have a much deeper appreciation of time together and have a stronger relationship. <3 

Nobody is Perfect

I have been working this summer to have a healthier lifestyle, but it has been a struggle. I was doing really well for three weeks by working out three-five times a week, eating healthier, and getting adequate sleep. However, the last two weeks I have fallen off the bandwagon. This week was the bottom for me - I only worked out once and ate things I should only in moderation. You know what though - nobody is perfect! I am not going to get down on myself because that will only lead to more choices that I should avoid. Rather, I am taking time to examine why I encountered the struggles and ways to do better in the future. I am still committed to improving my lifestyle, and know there are always going to be bumps in the road. So, I am getting back on track! 

So, the next time your goal is not going as smoothly as you would like, are you going to get down on yourself, or are you going to learn and take the encouragement to try harder? Ultimately, the choice is yours, but I know you can make the right one!

Full Speed Ahead

One thing is for certain - time does not slow down! I just watched my sister graduate eighth grade and enter high school; it is hard to believe because I feel like I just got to hold her for the first time. Life is full speed ahead and sometimes it can be hard to live in the moment. Right now, I am focusing on my summer activities: GRE preparation, contacting graduate schools, conducting my research, and finding time to relax and hang out with my friends. The whole looming application process is exciting and anxious for me. I have grown so much here at Central and feel comfortable where I am - I have made lifelong friends and have grown personally here in so many ways. To pick myself up and move across the country to start over in a more challenging environment is a frightening thought; on the other hand, finally being able to specialize in what I am passionate about is exhilarating! 

Growing up in Rogers City, I felt out of place because few people shared my passion for academics and had a similar personality. I had few friends and could not wait to graduate, although I was nervous about going to college because I was not a social person. When I moved into my dorm in August 2010, I prayed my roommates would be easy to get along with and that they would like me - I was not comfortable with myself at the time and felt closed off from the world. My focus was solely academics because I felt confidence only in that area. Little did I know that my one roommate would become my best friend and I would end up living with him all four years at Central. He helped me come out of my shell, and I finally felt comfortable being able to be myself after a while. While academics was still important to me, I began to realize there was more to love in life! 

I joined student organizations and in the Harry Potter Alliance, I found people who would become some of my closest friends and who shared similar personalities and interests. Little did I know, I would meet my current girlfriend through that organization. When I helped to found the Central Quidditch Club, I found a group of people I could be open with and have never felt so passionate about a sport because of the bonding with my team. Then, I became a McNair Scholar and was a part of a group who had similar life experiences and struggles but overcame obstacles and wanted to pursue higher education like I did. Central Michigan has changed me:

1) I don't care what other people think of me and am open to trying new things!
2) I am comfortable in my own skin and am open to being myself!
3) While academics is still important, I don't fret about getting straight A's anymore - there are other things worth focusing on to have a balanced lifestyle.

So, what is the importance of all this? By December, I will have submitted all of my applications for graduate school and it will be official - I will be leaving a place that has become my home and has a special place in my heart because of the effect it had on me. I feel like I will be leaving a piece of me behind, and I will be far away from friends who have impacted who I am. Every time I sit down and study for the GRE or look at graduate schools or do my research, it is a double-edged sword. The application process is upon me, and I am filled with so many feels! Don't get me wrong - I cannot wait to get to graduate school and study space life sciences. I just hope that it will become a home like Central has for me. 

My Definition of Success

First of, it has been a while folks! I have been so busy, but I finally have the time to do some personal writing and have a lot to talk about! 

What is the definition of success for you? If you ask anybody this question, there will be a variety of responses because for success, it is a personal view. For some people, it is being well accomplished, for others raising a family, and so many other definitions. How do I define success though - it is hard to put down in a few words.

I think as I continue to grow, my definition of success grows with me. I can remember as a kid, success was based on more artificial meaning - defeating made up characters and beating video games (although this has not completely changed). However, as I got to high school and eventually college, success was more personal. I recently read a quote that really summed up how I view success:

"When people ask me what the meaning of life is, I tell them it is to give life meaning."

I think this definition applies to everyone, but it is personalized because everyone has a different idea of what it is to give life meaning. So, for me, success is a combination of things.

1) Being a good role model for my sister as she continues to grow up
2) Having a passion in something that can change the world - such as my research
3) Being comfortable in my own skin
4) Having confidence in the decisions that I make and going through with them
5) Being dependable
6) Someday raising a family
7) Learning through mistakes and experiencing growth
8) Being a committed and loyal boyfriend 
9) Being a friend a friend would want to have
10) Having a well-balanced, healthy lifestyle

Camp Was More Than Just Learning

Last week, I had the opportunity to go to Kentucky and spend a week with my fellow Scholars at a Graduate School Preparation Camp. There were other McNair Groups from other schools, and it was interesting to see how we are alike and different. Throughout camp, we had the opportunity to listen to speakers who earned their doctoral degrees and were willing to share the journey they had. I have to admit I was overwhelmed with the flow of information, and when the seminars were finally complete, I was relieved. It took a few days for it to sink in, but I am thankful for the head start I now have on the application process!

The two areas that I most focused on were the personal statement and the interview process. First, the personal statement can be the real ticket into getting your application viewed and making it to the next level. When I left camp, I had not made any progress with writing, but I did have ideas floating in my mind. It wasn't until a few days ago when I really made a jumpstart - but that is another blog post! Second, although I am comfortable in interview settings, I often struggle with showing my enthusiasm to others even though inside I am excited! Learning tips from administrators who actually conduct interviews was a huge asset. It was helpful with a phone interview I had a few days ago - which was a huge deal! Again, that is a future post!

Apart from learning about graduate school, my favorite part of the trip was getting to know all my fellow scholars on a more personal level. Each one of us has a unique gift to offer! Playing in the game room Friday night, I laughed more than I have in a long time. It was desperately needed after an exhausting week. Overall, camp was an amazing learning experience and a great time for bonding with everyone - cannot wait to see what the rest of the summer has in store for us now!

My Voice

As we trek our path through life, there are two questions that come up: "Who am I?" and "Why am I?" Answering the second question is usually the hardest as we want to know our unique contribution. I still do not know exactly what my purpose is here yet, but I feel like I am closer to an idea. I recently took part in a workshop on strengths and these were my top three:

1. Relator - enjoy the intimacy of friendships and take the risk of sharing personal details
2. Self-Assurance - confident in my strengths and abilities and willing to take risks and challenges because I know I can deliver
3. Significance - want to be recognized 

I have always known that I wanted to make a change in the world for the better and knowing my strengths can help me focus on that goal. What change will I make though? I do not know yet, but I am confident I will know my purpose one day. For now, I am happy with the mystery of life's biggest question.