Strengths Can Be Weaknesses

I recently took an online test designed to predict my top strengths. My top five were:

• Relator - enjoys close relationships with others
• Self-Assurance - confident
• Significance - want to be important and/or recognized
• Maximizer - focus on strengths to stimulate excellence
• Belief - core values that are unchanging/give purpose

Being a future researcher, I was, of course, looking at the validity of the test. That being said,  by just looking at the answers it gave me, I can see these traits in myself. Although this test says they are strengths, I see that they also are a weakness. Let me break it down.

I do enjoy close relationships with others. I would consider my friend circle small compared to others, and I place great value on each friend of mine. At the heart of it all, I am a people pleaser. I like to make everyone happy. However, this gets me into many problems because this is impossible, and someone gets the "short end of the stick." Then, this tends to lead to hurt feelings and make me feel guilt inside because I let someone down. It is a constant battle for me, and it seems that sometimes people just expect too much when I am stretched so thin trying to make everything right. Of course, I realize that pleasing everyone is impossible, but it is in my nature to do my best.

I feel my confidence and need to be recognized go hand-in-hand. I am confident in my abilities and know I am capable of more than the average person, but I also realize that I do have limits and areas where I need to improve. I enjoy recognition and am proud of all my accomplishments thus far. However, it seems that my attitude or persona I give off is that of a conceited individual. That is not how I wish to appear to others.

I do not see a weakness in being a maximizer. I feel as a leader in organizations, it is important to be able to see the abilities in others and help them achieve their very best.

Lastly, I grew up learning values that I live my life by. My beliefs help to shape me, and it is frustrating when others come along and judge. I respect the beliefs of others, and in turn, I would expect the same.